Oh where, oh where can he be????
I have a stranger living in my house. On the outside he takes the form of my son, but on the inside I don't recognise him. In fact, the cute and lovable little boy who used to tell me that he loved me all the time is nowhere to be seen and in his place is a lazy, grotty, moody pre-teen.
I know that sounds harsh, but I will present my case.
Firstly, he has become dirty. I can no longer just throw his shirts into the washing machine because they are brown. They always need a separate soak first because suddenly his shirt (no matter which one he is wearing) has replaced napkins, hand towels and anything else that he used to wash his hands on. Hey! Why bother getting a towel when you have a shirt so close and handy! Ugh!
Secondly, he has become lazy. His room only gets cleaned if I rant and rave (or threaten to remove priviledges) until it is tidy. He recently complained that he had no wearable school socks. Perhaps that is because I found the dirty ones stuffed under the seat of the car where he was too lazy to pick them up and put them in the washing basket. When he finally did remove them, he decided then to use them as basketball practice and stood at the bathroom door and threw them in the hopes that they would magically land into the correct place. Imagine his surprise when I demanded that he put them away properly.
Thirdly, he has become moody. Now, he has always been what I would call a 'highly strung' boy, but suddenly 'vege-ing out in front of a screen' has become a regular pastime. And he is now into rock music, too (God bless the days when all he wanted to hear were the Wiggles, I say!). His mind is at a different place. Remembering to bring homework/newsletters etc home on the day he gets them is obviously impossible!
He has also become smelly. I know what you are thinking ("Aha....puberty!") and you are probably right but he refuses to wear deodorant. I'm hoping that someone tells him that he pongs soon so that he'll get the message.
He has also become the sporting king of our family. Not a weekend goes by when he doesn't beg to watch some football game. It doesn't matter what code it is, as long as he gets to watch it. Where once he used to spend his time reading novels, he now spends it reading the sports section of the daily paper. How on earth I managed to produce a football-loving child is beyond me!
The whole sporting thing also leads me to realise that he yells all of the time. I am always telling him to use a speaking voice inside the house because it is not a football field. My ears hurt just thinking about it!
And he eats! Boy, does he eat! It doesn't matter what it is, if he likes it, he'll eat it! It is not unusual for him to eat dinner, get up from the table and say, "I'm hungry. Can I have something else to eat!" No more kiddy meals for this kid!
Did I say that he argues? I am no longer the centre of his universe and I no longer am able to tell him all about the wonders of his world....cause he already knows! And he constantly argues and tells me if I'm wrong or if he thinks he knows better than me. It's depressing to be out-witted by an 11 year old, I must say!
He also speaks a different language. This is the language that is speckled with words like 'Yo' and 'Random'. We are also having deep discussions over the length of his hair at the moment. I'm not so un-hip that I can't see the value of looking cool with a shaggy do, but in my opinion, when it covers your eyes, there is a real problem. Of course, he can't see this....in fact, I'm surprised that he can see much at all!
Now having written all of this, I have to say that I do love and adore my son. He has a whole list of amazing, fantastic qualities to match each one that I have listed here. And at times, when I see glimpses of the man that hopefully he will one day become, I am stopped in my tracks. He can be so caring, sensitive, thoughtful and loving. If only that man would happen upon his hormone-filled mind quickly because I don't know if I can last through until it does.
So mothers of preteens take heart! You are not alone! If you are still sitting here nodding your head at all the attributes that I have listed then you have also given me hope that what we are going through is completely normal. I'm just hoping that there are some of you that are still reading this and saying 'Ahhhh, been there, done that but he is sooooo much better now!' Now that would really give me hope!
