I love my son, I really do. He's smart, sassy, social and has a wicked sense of humour. And I really enjoyed talking to him. But now that he's a teenager, our conversations has taken on a completely different turn. They go something like this:
Superteen: Mum, can I go to the city with my friends?
Me: No.
Superteen: Why not?
Me: Cause you are too young and the city is a big place with lots of unknowns.
Superteen: That's not fair....my friend *insert name here*'s mother lets him go.
And then there's this one:
Superteen: Mum, can I catch a bus to the(far away, major) shopping centre?
Me: No, I don't think so.
Superteen: Why not?
Me: Cause you are too young.
Superteen: That's not fair....my friend *insert name here*'s mother lets him go.
And one of my personal favourites:
Superteen: Mum, can I walk to (the next suburb over) McDonalds?
Me: No.
Superteen: Why not?
Me: Cause you are too young and it's a long way with a whole section of river.
Superteen: That's not fair....my friend *insert name here*'s mother lets him walk there.
Yes, there seems to be an unending theme of me thinking that the Superteen is too young and him telling me what other parents let their children do. Now, don't get me wrong, I realise that in many ways I am probably over-protective....my kids tell me that all of the time. But I do wonder about the wisdom of the decisions that other families make.
Sometimes, it seems to me that some people offer their kids a whole lot of freedom that does not sit comfortably with me. Kids riding bikes on busy roads, kids waiting around at night times in dark places for pick-up rides, kids being trusted to walk streets and shopping centres, often on their own. Perhaps it is because I've worked with children for a lot of years and know that despite what they seem on the outside, they are still children on the inside. And at the ages of 13, 14 and 15 this is legally still the case as well. I also understand that while parents are particularly vigilant with their first child, by the time their third or fourth one comes along, there is a much greater understanding and ease that comes with parenting.
I also accept that I cannot 'cotton wool' my teenager forever. In a few years, he has to be trusted to drive a car and heaven help me when that happens! Imagine the worry that I'll do then!
So I am getting better. I have now consented to him walking to the local shop (ok, it's a 7 minute walk with no major roads to cross) and am allowing him to go off on his own to shop, while I am in the centre. I'm even agreeing to 'dates' with the new girlfriend.
But inside me, there is always that worry for his safety. Mobile phones are great though and I have a new piece of armoury in my parenting arsenal. If he nags me about going somewhere or doing something that I am not comfortable with, the solution is simple. My response? 'Ask Nanna! If she says it's ok, then I agree, too'! Works every time!
